1
00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:06,020
Thank you.

2
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:48,280
Come in.

3
00:00:49,370 --> 00:00:50,690
Is that for me, Mr. Ruppers?

4
00:00:50,890 --> 00:00:51,940
Ah, yes, Abbott.

5
00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:53,590
What have you got there?

6
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:54,800
Complaint.

7
00:00:54,801 --> 00:00:56,829
Complaint? Yes, about our drawing bins.

8
00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:59,120
You can't open these new tins they put
them in.

9
00:00:59,270 --> 00:01:02,520
Nonsense, Abbott. Who ever heard of a
tin that you couldn't open?

10
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,930
Yes, well, they are a bit stiff.

11
00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:13,570
Now, the thing to do is to get a coin.
Have you got a coin, Abbott?

12
00:01:16,090 --> 00:01:17,960
And you... Put it under the lid and
twist.

13
00:01:18,260 --> 00:01:25,119
The trouble is, when you do that, you'll
find that the... They

14
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,200
fly all over the place.

15
00:01:26,201 --> 00:01:31,959
Yes, well, forget about them now. No,
you can't leave them lying around, you

16
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:35,539
know. Now sit down and listen to me.
Yes. All right, well, it's... Now

17
00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:40,940
where the hell are you going?

18
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:44,590
I've got to get the first aid kit. Well,
I don't need it. Come back here.

19
00:01:50,051 --> 00:01:52,039
It's a chest.

20
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,300
I'll have to stop smoking.

21
00:01:53,301 --> 00:01:56,219
Well, drink some of this. It might stop
your coughing for a while.

22
00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:58,559
I'll drink some of that and stop me
coughing for good. It's full of drawing

23
00:01:58,560 --> 00:01:59,610
pins.

24
00:01:59,611 --> 00:02:04,119
Now, I won't beat about the bush,
Abbott. I'd like to come straight to the

25
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:05,280
point. Yes, I saw that.

26
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,740
Abbott, I want your wife.

27
00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:12,590
Your what?

28
00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:15,370
I want her for the Amateur Operatic
Society.

29
00:02:15,371 --> 00:02:16,519
Oh, that!

30
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,320
Yes. Have you ever seen any of our...

31
00:02:18,321 --> 00:02:22,399
Yes, I saw one a couple of years ago.
You made me buy a couple... You asked me

32
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:23,660
to buy a couple of tickets.

33
00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:25,300
Oh, which production was that?

34
00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:26,800
Oklahoma or Desert Song?

35
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,920
The one where the scenery fell on you.

36
00:02:28,921 --> 00:02:33,439
Yes, that was Oklahoma. It's a pity you
came that night. Every other night went

37
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,490
splendidly. Oh, good.

38
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,610
Well, now, I happen to know that your
wife has a very good voice.

39
00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:40,740
I heard her singing at the office party.

40
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:43,650
Oh, that night? Yes, well, we'd all had
a few, you know.

41
00:02:43,651 --> 00:02:46,059
Well, we usually have a few before the
show.

42
00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:47,110
I know, I've seen you.

43
00:02:47,111 --> 00:02:51,159
Well, it's up to you to persuade her.
We're very short of people this year.

44
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,319
Yes, well, I'll have a word with her.
Which show are you doing?

45
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,520
The Pirates of Penzance.

46
00:02:54,780 --> 00:02:56,020
Oh, I like that one. Good.

47
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:57,670
Do you sing?

48
00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:58,770
No.

49
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,360
Well, we're very short of pirates.

50
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:02,850
And, Abbott? Yes?

51
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:07,280
Anyone who wishes to stay with this firm
is expected to rally round in a crisis.

52
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,960
No good me rallying round. I can't sing.

53
00:03:09,961 --> 00:03:11,859
Abbott, sit down.

54
00:03:11,860 --> 00:03:14,599
Mr. Humphreys, please. I've got a very
busy week painting the bathroom.

55
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,240
Sit down, Abbott. Yes, right on, Mr.
Humphreys.

56
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,400
Now, that was very good.

57
00:03:23,380 --> 00:03:25,160
Very few men can hit that note.

58
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,860
Very few men want to, Mr. Humphries.

59
00:03:30,861 --> 00:03:35,119
Well, I'll expect you at rehearsals on
Saturday, Abbott. Mr. Humphries, please.

60
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,760
No argument, Abbott.

61
00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:39,710
Saturday. Yes, yes. Well, that's what I
said. Saturday.

62
00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:40,900
Can I have my tempeh?

63
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,460
Well, I think it sounds fun.

64
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:51,780
You can go on your own. I'm not getting
mixed up in it. Oh, come on, Feed.

65
00:03:51,781 --> 00:03:55,199
I am not going to prance about on that
stage like a bloomin' pirate.

66
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,219
Besides, you've got to paint the
bathroom.

67
00:03:57,220 --> 00:03:58,420
Mike can paint that.

68
00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,690
Mike can do what?

69
00:03:59,980 --> 00:04:01,030
Paint the bathroom.

70
00:04:01,031 --> 00:04:03,499
I thought he was going to do it. I am
going to do it.

71
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,550
No, you're not.

72
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,720
He's coming to the rehearsal with me.

73
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:09,100
What? You mean Dad's going to be in the
show?

74
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,530
Yes.

75
00:04:10,531 --> 00:04:14,199
Listen, I've got to see. Listen, get me
ten tickets. I'll bring all the boys

76
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,250
along.

77
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:17,810
How dare they?

78
00:04:17,811 --> 00:04:18,599
Does what?

79
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,398
I am not going to stand on that stage
with him and his idiot mates in the

80
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:25,280
audience taking the mickey. They won't
be, Sid. They'll be supporting you.

81
00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:26,759
Yeah, I can just hear them.

82
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:27,810
Get him off.

83
00:04:27,811 --> 00:04:33,299
Oh, come off it, Dad. We'll be right
behind you all the way. I mean, it takes

84
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,070
guts to get up on a stage and sing,
doesn't it? Thank you.

85
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:38,120
Especially with a voice like you've got.

86
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,879
Sid, now you've got to be in it. You
promised Mr Humphrey. I did not. I

87
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,930
him you'd be in it.

88
00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:48,240
Well, I'm not being in it alone. If
you're not going, I'm not.

89
00:04:48,241 --> 00:04:49,469
What about the bathroom?

90
00:04:49,470 --> 00:04:52,120
Don't worry about that, Dad. I'll paint
the bathroom.

91
00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,220
It's all finished.

92
00:04:53,221 --> 00:04:56,869
Don't tell me you've painted it. I'm
never going to see that Barry again.

93
00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:58,490
I've just rang him up and told him.

94
00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:00,280
Oh.

95
00:05:00,281 --> 00:05:02,349
You're not going out with him this
afternoon, then?

96
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:03,470
No, of course I'm not.

97
00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:07,190
Oh, what a terrible shame. Lovely
afternoon like this.

98
00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:09,090
Don't you get nothing to do?

99
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:12,379
Daddy. Just what are you getting at?
Well, your mother doesn't want to go to

100
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,939
that rehearsal on her own, so you can go
with her. You meet some nice young

101
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:18,320
fellow there. Take your mind off this,
uh... Barry. Barry, I see, yes.

102
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,240
Sid, it's pirates they're short of.

103
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,440
Oh, and wear a beard.

104
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:26,200
And sing soprano.

105
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,210
I should be a different sort of pirate,
won't you?

106
00:05:30,780 --> 00:05:32,280
All right, well, I'm off. Get up.

107
00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:33,419
Where are you going?

108
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,470
Here an ounce.

109
00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:37,070
I thought you were going to paint the
bathroom. I am.

110
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:40,199
You'll need a very long brush if you're
painting it from there.

111
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,390
No, no, no. I'm getting some paint from
Trevor on the cheap. Ta -da.

112
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,240
Goodbye. Enjoy yourselves.

113
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:47,430
It's his fault.

114
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,420
If he's not going, I'm not going alone.

115
00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:52,910
It's all right, Mummy. I'll come with
you.

116
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,120
Let us gaily tread the measure.

117
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:02,680
Make the most of eating leisure.

118
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:21,110
to do the power -ups. I seem to be the
only one here.

119
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:25,220
What about your husband, Mrs Abbott? Oh,
he'll be along to the other rehearsal.

120
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,580
Can we count on that?

121
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,639
I'll make sure of it. Well, in that
case, Harper, I might as well run

122
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,690
number again.

123
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,240
Are you a pirate, then?

124
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:35,770
Yes, why?

125
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,780
Somebody said you were a policeman.

126
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:40,060
I am, but not in the show.

127
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:41,980
Oh, you mean you're a real one?

128
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:43,150
Yes.

129
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,500
Harper, I must have absolute silence.
Yes, sir. Quiet!

130
00:06:47,820 --> 00:06:48,870
Everybody, quiet!

131
00:06:57,420 --> 00:07:01,300
I am the very model of a modern major
general.

132
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:06,799
I'm thingamie and what's -her -name and
thingamie and thingamie and what's -her

133
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:12,520
-name and thingamie and thingamie and...
Excuse me, sir.

134
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,860
Didn't you read the right words?

135
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,900
I have the right words, Harper.

136
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:19,620
I bought the wrong glasses.

137
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,070
I see.

138
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,100
Here we are.

139
00:07:26,101 --> 00:07:29,059
One lovely two -gallon tin of fine. Oh,
that's great.

140
00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:30,110
What colour is it?

141
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,210
Cherry blossom pink.

142
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:32,930
How can you tell?

143
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,680
Well, it's on the tin, isn't it?

144
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,410
So it is.

145
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:40,440
If you could read Japanese.

146
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:43,610
Look, there's a dab of it on the lid,
isn't there?

147
00:07:43,611 --> 00:07:48,579
Yes, that's very nice. Yeah, it's dead
cheap, that. A quid for two gallons.

148
00:07:48,580 --> 00:07:49,659
Where's it come from?

149
00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,680
Japan. I know that, you quid.

150
00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:54,799
Now, where did you get hold of it? Oh,
well, there's this bloke at work, you

151
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,299
see. He's got a mate at the Merchant
Navy.

152
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,119
And they picked a load of it out in
Tokyo.

153
00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,500
He had to paint the ship with.

154
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,840
Paint the ship? Cherry blossom paint?

155
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:04,480
It's not the outside, the inside.

156
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:07,730
They had a few things left over. They're
knocking them out cheap.

157
00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,340
You mean it's been nicked?

158
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:12,400
Of course it's not nicked. Are you quite
sure?

159
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,130
Look, sure, I'm sure. Look, the bloke
only gave me a bill, didn't he?

160
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,320
That's from Japanese as well.

161
00:08:24,321 --> 00:08:27,059
Look, see, he's as straight as a die,
but, I mean, if you're worried, you

162
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:28,620
have to have to... No, no, no, no, no.

163
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,660
I'll take your word for it.

164
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:33,320
When are you painting it, then? I'm not.
He is.

165
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:34,930
Hang on a minute.

166
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:36,990
I said I'd paint it if you were in the
show.

167
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,250
What show?

168
00:08:38,539 --> 00:08:41,249
You mean he hasn't told you? It's none
of his business.

169
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:43,678
Dad's going to be in the Pirates of
Penzance.

170
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,299
He's going to be a singing pirate.

171
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,550
You're not, are you, Sid? Oh, yes, he
is.

172
00:08:48,551 --> 00:08:52,159
Why don't you keep your great mouth
shut? Oh, blimey, I must say this. Here,

173
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,290
us a dozen tickets or get all the lads
round from the air and out.

174
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,660
Oh, no, you won't, mate.

175
00:08:57,940 --> 00:08:58,990
Sid! Yes?

176
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,370
Hello.

177
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:01,730
Hello, darling.

178
00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:05,050
Sally met someone awfully nice at the
rehearsal.

179
00:09:05,051 --> 00:09:06,059
Oh, good.

180
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:08,000
Oh, I'm so sorry. Please do come in.

181
00:09:10,860 --> 00:09:11,940
Oh, my God, not him.

182
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:17,780
No, Sid, no. He gave me a lift home.
Daddy's gone out for the evening.

183
00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:19,519
Where were you, Abbott?

184
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,930
I told you, I'm very busy painting the
bathroom.

185
00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:25,359
Oh, it's all right. I'm going to paint
the bathroom now, Dad. So you see, Mr

186
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:26,659
Humphreys, you don't have to worry.

187
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:27,860
Dad'll be at rehearsals.

188
00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:29,650
Yes.

189
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:31,940
You've met my loud -mouthed son, of
course.

190
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:35,480
Yes, of course, sir. Nice -looking lad.
Can he sing?

191
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,400
Great. No!

192
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,450
He's very good.

193
00:09:41,451 --> 00:09:42,919
Splendid. Yes.

194
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:43,970
Oh, hang on.

195
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,240
Here's my mate, Trevor.

196
00:09:45,860 --> 00:09:46,910
How do you do?

197
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:49,320
He sings as well. No, I don't.

198
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,530
Now, don't be modest.

199
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,739
He's very good. And I can rely on you to
enlist them both? Definitely. You can

200
00:09:56,740 --> 00:09:59,159
also rely on a very good audience,
because they're both bringing all their

201
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,210
to watch them.

202
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:08,310
What do you think?

203
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,930
Yeah.

204
00:10:10,161 --> 00:10:14,069
Perhaps it'll look better when it gets
dry.

205
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:16,170
Yeah. It'll look even yuckier.

206
00:10:16,171 --> 00:10:20,149
Well, your mother will like it. She's
very fond of pink.

207
00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:21,210
Pink? Yeah.

208
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,130
That's a Japanese cherry blossom pink.

209
00:10:25,030 --> 00:10:26,770
That is tomato sauce red.

210
00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:29,470
Why do you always have to argue?

211
00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,550
I don't have to argue. Look at it.

212
00:10:31,551 --> 00:10:33,729
Oh, Blimey, I don't know why I bother to
help you.

213
00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:35,630
You're not helping me. I'm helping you.

214
00:10:35,631 --> 00:10:37,569
Well, get your mother up. You see what
she says.

215
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,289
You know what she's going to say? What?

216
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,340
Yuck.

217
00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:43,510
What's his name?

218
00:10:43,511 --> 00:10:44,919
Who?

219
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:45,970
The policeman.

220
00:10:46,340 --> 00:10:49,600
Stanley. I think he'll make a splendid
pirate.

221
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,780
Oh, he's not going to be a pirate now.

222
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,430
Mr Humphrey's liked him so much, he's
going to play the policeman.

223
00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,320
Well, he should be very good at that.

224
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,890
He may pop round for a cup of coffee
later. He's on the beat round here.

225
00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,599
How's it going?

226
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,179
It's not going at all. I can't work with
him. He keeps arguing all the time. He

227
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:06,680
keeps going on about that pint.

228
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:08,960
What's the matter with it? Nothing.

229
00:11:09,180 --> 00:11:10,230
Lovely.

230
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:13,730
Sort of rich, warm... pink.

231
00:11:13,731 --> 00:11:18,409
I'll go up and have a look at it. Good.
I'll make some coffee. Thank you very

232
00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:19,670
much. I'll have one as well.

233
00:11:21,450 --> 00:11:27,950
The ring is valued at 500 pounds, and
there's a 10 % reward.

234
00:11:29,270 --> 00:11:31,410
Now, the next item to look out for is
this.

235
00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:33,290
Japanese emulsion paint.

236
00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:45,250
is unmistakable. It's a rich red.

237
00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:50,310
So anybody who offers you a tent of this
on the cheap.

238
00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:43,440
what I said to Dad. And he started
jumping about like a maniac.

239
00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:45,369
Hide it.

240
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:46,590
Hide what? That paint.

241
00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:50,650
It's been nicked. Hide it. How can we
hide it? It's all over the wall.

242
00:12:50,651 --> 00:12:54,869
Well, scrape it off and hide it in.
There's a copper downstairs.

243
00:12:54,870 --> 00:12:56,370
Oh, that'll be Sally's friend.

244
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:58,370
You mean Sally's shopped us?

245
00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:00,430
Nobody's shopped us.

246
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:03,429
He's popped in for a cup of coffee,
though. Well, if he sees that paint,

247
00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:06,080
going to pop straight out again with us
in handcuffs.

248
00:13:06,081 --> 00:13:10,599
paint is stolen. Every copper in London
is looking for it.

249
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,639
Well, if you knew it was stolen, then
you shouldn't have bought it. I did not

250
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,419
know it was stolen. I bought it off
Trevor. Called up him when I see him.

251
00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,470
murder him.

252
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:20,570
With that paint on your hands, you look
as if you already have.

253
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:22,950
It won't come off.

254
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,910
Well, is it oil paint or water paint? I
don't know.

255
00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:27,680
Well, what does it say on the tin?

256
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:30,890
Yamahoko.

257
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:32,270
Yamahoko.

258
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:35,240
Yamahoko. Thank you, Archie Lee.

259
00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:37,359
Don't worry, darling.

260
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,399
I'll go down and see him. Yeah, hurry
up, please, and don't let him come up

261
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,399
here. Well, he's only popped in for a
cup of coffee. Why should he want to pop

262
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:48,219
up here? Well, he might want to have
a... Just don't let him come up, that's

263
00:13:48,220 --> 00:13:49,270
all. How?

264
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:50,820
Just give him half a cup.

265
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:58,120
It's a big part, but I'm sure you'll be
marvellous.

266
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,150
Hello.

267
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:04,590
Oh, hello, Mrs Abbott. I think I may
have given your husband a bit of a

268
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:05,990
Oh, really? Why?

269
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,910
slammed the door right in Stanley's
face.

270
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,210
Did he really?

271
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,960
I wonder why he did that.

272
00:14:11,961 --> 00:14:13,959
Well, it doesn't matter.

273
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,010
Yes, it does.

274
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:18,410
It's very rude of him, Mummy, and I
think Daddy ought to apologise.

275
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,160
Oh, he will, darling, I'm sure.

276
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:24,739
Yes, well, let's go up and see him. Oh,
no, dear. No, no. No need for you to go

277
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,180
upstairs. I'll bring him down.

278
00:14:26,191 --> 00:14:30,499
Mind you, some people don't like
policemen.

279
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:31,539
Well, Daddy does.

280
00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:33,180
I mean, he doesn't dislike them.

281
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,260
Just seemed a bit odd, that's all.

282
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:37,340
Well, Daddy is a bit odd sometimes.

283
00:14:37,341 --> 00:14:38,619
Is he?

284
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,900
Well, not odd. Sort of accent -minded.

285
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:43,670
Hello.

286
00:14:43,671 --> 00:14:45,679
Don't get up.

287
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:49,059
Enjoying the coffee? Yes, very nice.
Thank you. Would you like some more?

288
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:50,110
No.

289
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,340
I wasn't asking you, Daddy.

290
00:14:54,341 --> 00:14:56,499
Well, he doesn't want me either. He'll
keep him awake.

291
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,460
I'm on night... Daddy,

292
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:01,200
aren't you going to apologise?

293
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,410
What for?

294
00:15:06,930 --> 00:15:10,630
Yes. I'm sorry about it. The wind blew
it shut. It's very drafty out, you know.

295
00:15:10,631 --> 00:15:11,649
Is it?

296
00:15:11,650 --> 00:15:13,569
Yes, it's drafty and it's freezing cold.

297
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:14,620
It is cold, isn't it?

298
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:16,620
Terrible.

299
00:15:16,621 --> 00:15:18,889
That's why I'm wearing these gloves, you
see.

300
00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:20,170
But, Daddy, it's August.

301
00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:23,380
Yes, I know, I know that. I mean, these
are my summer gloves.

302
00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:25,410
In the winter, I wear sheepskin.

303
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:30,410
Are you feeling all right? Not really,
no. I don't feel very well at all,

304
00:15:30,490 --> 00:15:37,000
really. I've got a cold coming on. Or,
uh... Or, um... dinghy fever or malaria.

305
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,290
That's it, malaria.

306
00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:40,779
I wouldn't come upstairs, would I? It's
very dangerous.

307
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:41,860
Very catchy, malaria.

308
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,640
You're right, he is a trifle odd.

309
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,800
He's not usually as odd as that, though.

310
00:15:48,260 --> 00:15:49,310
Good.

311
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:51,260
Well, anyway, how must we go?

312
00:15:51,261 --> 00:15:54,459
Oh, do you have to? Yes, well, I
shouldn't really be in here at all, you

313
00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:55,510
I'm on duty.

314
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:56,610
Oh.

315
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,800
Anyway, thanks very much for the coffee.

316
00:15:58,860 --> 00:16:02,140
And, uh... I'll see you at rehearsals.

317
00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:03,490
Yes.

318
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,240
Daddy's coming for the next one.

319
00:16:09,290 --> 00:16:10,550
Oh, yes, yes, of course.

320
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:13,330
All right, well, cheerio. Bye -bye.

321
00:16:14,170 --> 00:16:19,030
I can't get this paint off. Nothing
shifts it. Oh, God, blimey. Where's the

322
00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:20,420
Outside the window.

323
00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:23,060
Careful!

324
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:24,500
Ow!

325
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:34,910
It was your father again.

326
00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:37,670
He threw a tin of paint over me.

327
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,930
That's not all, Sally. I'm afraid it was
stolen paint.

328
00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:47,220
I told you I bought it. All right, then
let's say you bought it in good faith.

329
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,300
Absolutely. And the point is, who did
you buy it from?

330
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:54,130
Oh, God, blimey, how many more times? I
bought it from a fella in the pub.

331
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,550
Hello, sir.

332
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:56,810
Anything wrong?

333
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:58,080
No, everything's lovely.

334
00:16:58,081 --> 00:17:01,519
Honey, I saw this policeman. I thought
you might have had an accident or

335
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,699
something. He's the one who had the
accident.

336
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:06,880
I had a tin of paint poured over me. I
said it was an accident.

337
00:17:07,140 --> 00:17:08,500
A tin of stolen paint.

338
00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:10,849
Stolen? Yes, Trevor.

339
00:17:11,450 --> 00:17:12,500
Oh, God.

340
00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:15,390
I mean, that's nasty, isn't it? Very
nasty.

341
00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:19,880
Now then, Mr. Abbott, the man you bought
it from, would you know him again?

342
00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:27,080
Well, that's hard to say, really. Can
you give me his description?

343
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:30,070
Oh, he's about five foot eight. No.

344
00:17:31,490 --> 00:17:33,420
No, no, no, no, he's not as tall as
that.

345
00:17:33,421 --> 00:17:36,349
Well, how do you know? Were you there
when he bought it? Oh, yes, he was

346
00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:37,430
weren't you, Trevor?

347
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,550
Yeah. And how tall would you say he was?

348
00:17:40,790 --> 00:17:45,110
Oh, you know, about five foot two.

349
00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:47,100
Five foot two?

350
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:50,010
Yeah. Because, I mean, they're not very
tall, are they?

351
00:17:50,230 --> 00:17:51,280
I mean, oh.

352
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:53,380
Who?

353
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:55,140
Japanese.

354
00:17:58,390 --> 00:18:01,370
You never mentioned he was Japanese. You
didn't ask me.

355
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:06,549
Is there anything else about him you can
remember? No, nothing else. Except he

356
00:18:06,550 --> 00:18:07,600
only had one leg.

357
00:18:14,700 --> 00:18:15,750
But I can't wear this.

358
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,530
I'm on duty.

359
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:22,139
If it's dark, perhaps nobody will see
you. Oh, that would be ridiculous. He

360
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:25,510
can't walk about all night wearing that.
They'll think he's Mr. Plod.

361
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,780
Dad, could I make a suggestion?

362
00:18:28,781 --> 00:18:30,039
No.

363
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,300
Sid, the answer's simple.

364
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,680
All we have to do is paint it blue
again.

365
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,290
Of course, yeah.

366
00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:37,300
That was going to be my suggestion.

367
00:18:37,301 --> 00:18:39,919
Yeah, but can you match the colour? Any
colour you like.

368
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,720
Mike spent five years at art college.

369
00:18:41,980 --> 00:18:43,780
And he got a diploma in fine arts.

370
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,140
Isn't that funny?

371
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,610
I knew that would come in handy one day.

372
00:18:51,150 --> 00:18:52,200
Come on, Stanley.

373
00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:54,120
Here we are.

374
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:56,510
You sure it looks all right?

375
00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:00,640
Looks special, eh?

376
00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,790
Best thing he's ever painted.

377
00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:04,370
It looks lovely.

378
00:19:04,371 --> 00:19:07,709
If you should happen to bump into that
chap in the park... Don't worry, I'll

379
00:19:07,710 --> 00:19:08,709
keep an eye out for him.

380
00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:10,550
Right, well, cheerio then. Ta -ta.

381
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:15,530
Excuse me.

382
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,850
I want a word with a one -legged, five
-foot -two Japanese.

383
00:19:19,851 --> 00:19:24,319
Now, listen, Sid, I know what you're
thinking. You and your thieving mates.

384
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,619
No, it wasn't Nick, Sid. It can't have
been. Of course it was Nick. No, Sid,

385
00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:31,439
look, I've been thinking. I mean, that
bloke offered me the stuff last week,

386
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,180
this lot was knocked off last night.

387
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:37,050
Are you telling me he'd taken orders for
it before him, Nick, Sid?

388
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:40,219
Look, I told you, Sid, he's dead
straight. I mean, I'll bring you round

389
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,600
You can see him. Yeah, do that.

390
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:42,710
Yeah, well, I will.

391
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:44,270
When he comes back.

392
00:19:44,271 --> 00:19:45,979
Comes back, where's he gone?

393
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:47,019
Yokohama?

394
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,160
No, Southend.

395
00:19:48,161 --> 00:19:52,119
Well, he's on his holidays for a
fortnight. I can't do anything till he

396
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,920
back. Oh, yes, you can. What?

397
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,530
Practice singing. You're going to be a
pirate.

398
00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:06,259
Sorry I was late, but I got a bit hung
up with all the gear, you know. All

399
00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,780
right. Now, pirates, everyone, please.

400
00:20:08,781 --> 00:20:13,059
Now, you all know we couldn't use the
hall this afternoon because of that

401
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:17,819
jumble, say. And I think we owe Mrs
Abbott a vote of thanks for letting us

402
00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:19,400
our costume razzle here.

403
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,610
Now, we'll start with the policeman's
chorus.

404
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:26,710
Oh, dear.

405
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,590
So you're a policeman now, Abbott? Yes,
they found I had too many pirates.

406
00:20:34,940 --> 00:20:36,340
Sit. Sit, it's here.

407
00:20:36,341 --> 00:20:39,819
Who? Charlie, the boat from work, the
one we got the paint from. I mean, I

408
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:41,379
didn't bring him in with all those
people here.

409
00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:42,179
Where is he?

410
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:43,230
He's just outside.

411
00:20:43,231 --> 00:20:46,419
Well, I can't go and see him like this,
can I? Well, of course you can. It'll

412
00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:48,220
only take a second. Nobody'll see you.

413
00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:49,920
All right, go on. You'll see him.

414
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,760
So, you see, this is what happened.

415
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:59,780
My brother Skipper bought this load of
paint in Tokyo as a cargo.

416
00:20:59,980 --> 00:21:03,839
Yes. Well, he used some to paint the
ship, and it was when the rest was being

417
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,220
unloaded that it got nicked.

418
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,220
Oh, I see.

419
00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:08,680
Are you satisfied now?

420
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,540
Yes. Thanks for coming round.

421
00:21:11,380 --> 00:21:12,940
I've got some more if you like it.

422
00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:14,410
No.

423
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,730
No, no, no, mate. Look, we weren't all
that mad about the colour.

424
00:21:17,731 --> 00:21:20,999
Oh, yeah, you had that terrible red
stuff, didn't you? But I've got some

425
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:21,979
and some yellow.

426
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,030
No,

427
00:21:24,140 --> 00:21:26,280
thanks, mate. I don't think I'm... Oh,
my God.

428
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:29,800
What do you have, mate?

429
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,100
No, thanks. I can manage.

430
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:33,410
Oh.

431
00:21:33,740 --> 00:21:35,060
You've done a good job here.

432
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:37,239
That's the lot that was hijacked of a
lorry.

433
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,320
Oh, no, it's not.

434
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,580
No, no, he's right. It just looks like
it. How do you know?

435
00:21:42,020 --> 00:21:43,540
Look, he's buying it off me.

436
00:21:43,541 --> 00:21:47,559
Oh, no, no, no, I've got a message in
there. They don't have enough trouble

437
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,439
the first lot.

438
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:52,540
I... I think, yeah, I'd better explain.

439
00:21:52,740 --> 00:21:53,840
I think so as well.

440
00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:57,060
Yeah, well, to start with, I'm not
really a copper. Oh, I see.

441
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,650
You are masquerading in a policeman's
uniform in order to commit a felony.

442
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:03,180
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

443
00:22:03,979 --> 00:22:05,220
I was a pirate.

444
00:22:05,820 --> 00:22:06,870
You were what?

445
00:22:08,220 --> 00:22:11,260
Harry, come over here a minute, would
you?

446
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,180
He won't be a minute.

447
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:16,720
I'll go and see where he is.

448
00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:18,399
We'll run through it without him.

449
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:19,359
All right.

450
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:22,699
Look, I'll give you one more chance. Get
in that car or I'll sling you in. Will

451
00:22:22,700 --> 00:22:23,760
you let me explain?

452
00:22:23,980 --> 00:22:25,300
They need me for rehearsal.

453
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:29,060
We need you, Dan and Nick. Listen,
listen.

454
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:30,770
Can you hear that?

455
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,530
There you are. They're playing their
song. Oh, shut up.

456
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,520
All right, I can do it myself.

457
00:22:41,780 --> 00:22:43,890
You don't have to start pushing me
around.

458
00:23:09,271 --> 00:23:11,039
down the stairs.

459
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,180
Are you all right, pal?

460
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,580
No, I'm not. I've sprained my ankle.

461
00:23:14,940 --> 00:23:17,860
Oh, that's the end of shows tomorrow
night.

462
00:23:18,140 --> 00:23:19,420
I can't walk.

463
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,320
And Sid's been arrested.

464
00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:23,340
Oh, don't worry, everybody.

465
00:23:23,740 --> 00:23:25,240
Harper, think of something.

466
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:32,599
Just bear in mind that we are wards in
chancery and father is a

467
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,600
major general.

468
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,280
Yes, yes, he is a major...

469
00:23:52,170 --> 00:23:53,220
Major General.

470
00:23:53,310 --> 00:23:56,910
I've information vegetable, animal and
mineral.

471
00:23:57,190 --> 00:24:02,229
I know the kings of England and I've put
the parts historical from Marathon to

472
00:24:02,230 --> 00:24:04,710
Waterloo in order categorical.

473
00:24:33,041 --> 00:24:35,139
Thank you.

474
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:39,690
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